Finding Edward Cullen
by renesmee.carlie.cullen1313
Summary: Follow Bella Swan as she overcomes a difficult upbringing, experiencing a variety of firsts after meeting Edward Cullen. Rated M to be safe
1. Prologue

My name is Bella Swan, and I've felt numb for most of my life. I grew up to an abusive father- both physically and mentally- and a mother who is great, but became more involved with her boyfriend than me. I hate how I feel most of the time and how I fuck up just about every relationship I've ever had. As a result, I find myself spending ungodly amounts of time pondering where everything went so wrong.

How could a father hit his child? Even worse, how could that child let him get away with it? I did and regret it at times, but no one realizes how hard it is to send your parent to face charges and to have your name and his plastered everywhere. People talk, and I could not become their newest target for gossip.

Believe it or not, I was a daddy's girl when I was younger. He went through periods of being so nice to me that I felt like I could float. We would dance together to music, put on mini-concerts for my family, and just enjoy life. All good things, however, come to an end. He began treating our family like property and my mother, Renée could not take it anymore. She divorced him, and he made our lives even more of a living hell.

So now I am in college, struggling to let my guard down, struggling to be loved. I've never had a boyfriend or first kiss. There's just so much I haven't experienced because I had to grow up much sooner than any child should. Up until a few days ago constant daydreams invaded my life that my knight would come and whisk me away on his white horse. Thankfully, things have started turning around. The only person I can thank for this miracle is Edward Cullen.


	2. A Hopeful Encounter

Chapter 1:

A/N: This is my first fan fiction, and I am so excited to share it with you! All characters belong to Stephanie Meyers, but the ideas are all mine.

Edward Cullen was a guy I met in my English Literature class. He sat a few rows ahead of me and was the epitome of who I wanted to be. He was gorgeous with his wild bronze hair and piercing emerald eyes that could see deep into my soul. He was tall, muscular, and of course popular. Girls flocked to him and guys envied him. Every day before class, Edward had a fan club right in front of him. What really captured my attention, however, was that he did not seem the least bit interested with all of the attention that surrounded him. He had many friends and admirers, yet he always stayed the sweet, caring guy with a smile that made me believe in love.

I quickly became one of Edward's admirers, but I was too afraid to talk to him. He was everything I wanted to be and everything I never thought I could be. I barely paid attention to our teacher, finding a stronger desire to read the mystery of Edward Cullen. How could he be so perfect and not even acknowledge it? How could he make feel like a totally different person? I had never talked to him, but somehow felt a sense of comfort when he was in my presence. He did not make me want to run and hide as most others did. His nature intrigued me from his silky voice to his happy and confident gait. There was nothing, absolutely _nothing_ about Edward Cullen that was not perfection. I awaited the day that he would come to my row and talk to me, but I knew he never would. Thankfully, I was wrong.

It was a beautiful day in spring when he first came up to me, beginning a whirlwind of emotions and love.

"Hello gorgeous, I'm Edward Cullen. What might your name be?"

 _How could some one like Edward Cullen think I'm gorgeous? Charlie always told me that no one will ever love me. I'm a terrible daughter and person._

"Hello?" Edward tried to get my attention.

"Oh, hi. I'm Bella Swan." Now at this point, I was pretty flustered, running my fingers through my hair and hoping that I wouldn't scare him away.

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Bella. Would you maybe like to go to dinner with me sometime?" Edward ran his hand through his hair- just as I had done previously- making it even messier.

 _Could it be possible that Edward Cullen was nervous as well? No, he couldn't be, could he? He's perfection, and I'm just me._

"Bella?" His eyes were smoldering into mine, looking for answers, and I suddenly felt even weaker.

"Yes, I would love to go to dinner with you Edward." I shakily replied.

 _I don't even know this guy. How could I have just agreed to go on a date with him? I've never even had a date before. Oh no- this is going to go badly, he's going to realize how fucked up I am and lose interest quickly._

Right at that moment, Edward flashes me his perfect smile and its as if his eyes are sparkling. Just like that all my worries fade away, and I know that something good will come out of this. It just has to. These feelings are real, and I never thought I could feel like this.

"Does tomorrow night work for you?" Edward asks, in an almost giddy tone.

"Yes, I look forward to seeing you then." With that, the teacher calls everyone back to their seats, and I am left daydreaming about what is to come in the mystery of Edward Cullen. I could not be happier to find out.

The rest of class goes by in a blur, and before I know it Edward is walking me to my car and going over the details of our date. Charlie may be wrong after all.

A/N: I hope you liked this chapter and decide to review. Feel free to give me any comments or ideas that you would like to about this story. I am open to constructive criticism and would love to hear your ideas. Have a great MLK Day and I will update next weekend!


	3. Preparing For What Could Be My Future

A/N: I hope you all had a great weekend! Here is the next chapter of _Finding Edward Cullen_. I hope you like it!

I have never believed in fairytales, but getting ready for my date with Edward Cullen- my _first_ date ever- I cannot help the ideas running rampant in my mind that _maybe_ , just _maybe_ this will be my fairytale. I have never been some sort of serial romantic, and you can't really blame me after everything that has gone on between my parents and everything that Charlie has told me.

How can a girl that has been repeatedly told she will amount to nothing, overcome the feelings of doubt that have been instilled in her throughout her whole life? If people were to hear my story, I imagine that they would wonder why I can't just let my past stay in the past. What they don't understand, however, is that these difficulties don't just leave like that. This isn't some magic trick; it's real life. Even though that's the harsh reality, it does not mean that things _can't_ change, it just means that more time is necessary to reach that change.

With that said, I am more nervous right now than I have ever been in my life. What will Edward ask me about my life? My parents? How do I let my guard down? Can I let my guard down? Will he see past everything that I have been trying to keep hidden for my whole life? Will he understand or at least _try_ to understand what I have, and still am going through, or will he run before he, too, can be damaged by me. It's no secret that I ruin everything good in my life, but this time it's unfathomable what will happen to me if I mess this up. Chances for love don't come by often for me, so I need to treasure this.

All of these thoughts have been relentless in my mind since I said yes to Edward Cullen. Last night, I could not sleep. Today, I went to class and don't even remember what we were talking about. I have _always_ been a diligent student despite my drifting mind, but today it was impossible. The closer the time gets too 6 P.M., when he will be picking me up, the more nervous I get.

As I am getting ready, I look towards the back of my closet and find a beautiful sapphire blue dress that Renée got me a few years ago and I have never worn- not because I didn't want to, but for lack of occasion. The dress is lace, sleeveless, and hits a few inches above my knee. It is simple, yet gorgeous and makes me feel less like the "plain Jane" I have always been; it makes me feel special. I curled my hair in loose ringlets, a task that Renée taught me in perfect Renée fashion, believing that it was necessary for a college girl to know how to do. Finally I put on a pair of silver ballet flats, a simple pair of faux-diamond earrings, and a single pearl necklace and matching bracelet that I got for graduation. I check the clock which read 5:55 P.M. and means that Edward will be here in five minutes.

He showed up right on time in his silver Volvo, holding a small bouquet of roses in one hand and chocolates in the other. All of my worries fade away right when I see him in his white and navy checked button-down, khakis paired with a black leather belt, and brown loafers, with his wild hair that could make any girl crazy. I knew that tonight would be great.

AN: Please review! I always love to here what you think about the story and any suggestions that you might have in regards to it. What do you think about Bella and Edward so far? Their date will be up next weekend!


	4. The Date

A/N: Here is the chapter that you have all been waiting for: the date!

"Hey Bella, you look gorgeous tonight" Edward said with a glimmer in his eye.

"Thank you, you look good too" I said, not really knowing how else to respond.

"Madame, your chariot awaits." Edward said rushing to the passenger side of the door and opening it for me.

"Thank you" I said, sitting down and smoothing out my dress.

Edward then went to the driver's side of the car and began to play music softly in the background. I could not even tell you what he is playing as I have never heard it before, but it is absolutely beautiful. Throughout the whole ride, Edward regales me with his childhood and asks about mine. One thing that I love about Edward is that he recognizes my touchy subjects and doesn't push me to share when I don't want to. He is the perfect gentleman.

During our date, we eat at the restaurant, Canlis and then take a stroll along the water at Mathews Beach Park. The ocean is magnificent with the way the moon reflects on it, and the stars are adding to the fairy-tale. Conversation runs easily between Edward and I. He tells me about his parents, Esme and Carlisle, who make him believe in true love which apparently is a real thing. I tell him about Renée and her boyfriend, Phil and a little about my Charlie, too. I basically just explain that I raised myself and that my guardians are withdrawn. I love Renée, I really do, but she has made life difficult for me for as long as I can remember. She even blew through all of my inheritance money from her parents, spending it on exotic vacations with her different boyfriends. I don't go this in depth in my conversation with Edward, instead keep it terse so I don't scare him away.

On the way home, Edward is telling me how much fun he had on our date, and I have to agree with him. This date has been the most carefree experience I've had in a long time. Edward makes me feel special and wanted. He makes me realize that I'm worth something; that I have a purpose. When he drops me off at my house, we exchange numbers and he gives me a kiss on the cheek and thanks me again for going out with him. He then begins to walk away, saying that he can't wait to go out with me again, that is if he "didn't scare me away"- his words not mine. I watch him walk back towards his car, but suddenly he rushes up to me and wraps his arms around my waist and looks deeply into my eyes.

"Bella, I've been waiting to do this all night and didn't know how you'd react, but if I don't do this I'll regret it."

With that, Edward takes his arms off my waist to place my hands around his neck and kisses me with so much passion and care. Most people say that first kisses are awkward and daunting but with Edward, I feel like I've been doing this for my whole life. His kiss is gentle and everything I could ask for in a first kiss. It's so natural, like breathing. I know that sounds cliché, however, sometimes life is cliché. I am so caught up in reciprocating his kiss that I forget we have to come up for air sometimes. Edward pulls away, and as fast as he does that, we are back together, connected. I initiate this second kiss and I can feel the adoration and love between us. This man will be the death of me. I need to stop myself before I get carried away. I can't sleep with him on our first date, but for once in my life I'm having these feelings that I can't explain. I feel like I'm floating on a cloud and my panties are getting wet. He is awakening primitive desires in me that I never even knew I had. Edward pulls back again, this time with flushed cheeks and looking ecstatic, but also a little embarrassed. Edward wishes me goodnight, and I do the same. As he walks back to his car, I watch him again and notice that he adjusts himself. Edward feels the same as me and is a complete gentleman! I will definitely treasure tonight and have a blissful sleep. A few minutes later, I get a text from Edward saying, "To hell with waiting a few days before texting or calling after a date. I can't stay away from you for that long. I will be forever thankful that you did me the honor of accepting my date request. You, Bella Swan, are a true gem. XO Edward"

A/N: I really hope you like this chapter! Please leave a review to let me know what you thought about the date! How did you like the kiss? I cannot wait to hear what you all think! Have a great week and you will see Bella and Edward again next weekend!


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